Dusty complains about himself then does nothing about it. Vol. 18

Evening faithful readers,
I don't know what to write about, but I wanna post something, so here goes.

I hate being single, but I've come to realize my personality is not really apt for a healthy relationship (egotistical, selfish and needlessly over-enthusiastic about being in one, when I am) and to be frankly honest I would suck as a Lothario-type. So where does that leave me? I could be a monk, but that sounds boring as fuck (no offence to any monks reading this). I could try and change, but I don't know what to change, apart from my shitty hair. I think I'll just continue on and do whatever I do best.

"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious." - Oscar Wilde

I rely on my ol' personal brand of charm to stop getting into trouble. In school when getting "told off" about something, I'd either crack a joke if I had the opening to (which made them angry because they couldn't laugh then sent me away) or basically try and define a bullshit reason as to why I did or didn't do something. I seem to have an uncanny nack for avoiding trouble though, being slightly late to be involved in it or just being lazy and not going to where I was meant to be.

I have a love/hate relationship with compliments, I love getting compliments when they are due, but hate when my own little brain box decides compliments aren't due then I get embarrassed and bashful. I don't mind dishing out alot of these pockets of joy, but I guess some people don't like thinking they deserve them. Cunts. Like me sometimes.

I always have one or two girls who I'd like to be with at any time, and they constantly change. One minute it's a girl I know, next it's some random girl I spot on the bus, my brain is a sporadic little fucker. I'm glad my impeccably low self-confidence halts me from making a huge romantic gesture to win over the girls, I hate looking like a twat, but the booze make me think "Hmmm, writing a long winded poem over facebook to a girl (who you barely know) will make her absolutely fall head over heels for you dusty, do it!" I'm stubborn so that don't happen, even when I'm wasted asking a girl "out", OVER THE INTERNET, I will do it in the shyest possible way, some say it is cute though.

So what have I learnt writing this? Nothing, apart from I complain more than I though I did, I need more confidence and tone down the romantic business. Ain't gonna change anytime soon.

See ya later folks,
Dusty J. A. Smith