Been doing things this week, mainly being drunk, being hungover and in pain, being bored, being amuse, being me and dreaming of things to come. Speaking of dreaming, I had several fucked up, and soul crushing dreams, the one that is at the forefront of my memory, is a girl who I used to be involved with, listing in detail all my faults (the ones that hurt your feelings), and telling me she would never sleep with me cos she'd think I'd be shit! Woke up in a right mood, wanting to prove myself like a little ol' hapless protagonist in a melancholic fairy tale.
I always want to prove to people I am a better person than I appear, and if they don't buy it, I'm enticed. You don't want me, I'll change your mind with my speech and gestures. Otherwise it's boring. Affection earned is twice better than affection given.
I've started wearing eyeliner, I dunno why, or who I'm trying to impress, but it does make my eye's look heavier and more interesting.
See ya people,
Dusty J. A. Smith
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